okay, read this.

I'm sorry.
for everything that I've done.. even for something I don't even know that might make you hate me or even no longer trust me anymore.
I'm trying hard to figure it out, the reason why do you guys (seems to be) mad at me so much.
if it's about the' alumunium' foil and stuff... I'm sorry.
or
if it's because my reaction for this marbled paper task. well, I guess you guys need some explanation from me
1. I want to, I want to join you to do this task.. the marbled paper and everything. but in case if you wanna know... I can't. why? after the 'incident' of the 'aluminium' foil, that you guys might think that I am out of responsibility, you guys really need to know that everything were so out of plan. my mom suppose to have a roll of 'alumunium' foil, but suddenly we ran out of it. I'm trying hard not to turned you down all over again, that's why I called Indri, and asked her for a favor, a roll of alumunium foil which might help my problem.. our problem about this marbled paper things (but Indri's driver was late, we didn't get the 'alumunium' foil and she said that she would gave it to you guys as soon as she got it after school. but she didn't becausse she didn't see any of guys. I didn't blame her, I asked her for a favor, and she wanted to help me, then she tried hard to reach "the goal" which is gave that 'alumunium' foil to you, and she said that the 'alumunium' foil is useless for her and her family at home, so she was happily gave that 'alumunium' foil to me. thanks to her, and for her effort)
2. you guys seems doesn't want me to be there. you didn't ask me to join you when you guys are working. if you wanna argue that I didn't show any reaction or inisiative these line will be my answer:
"I tought that you guys were mad at me. well the fact you are mad at me."
"but we didn't, we're waiting for your reaction"
"your expression, your face, your attitude, you don't even tell me that you are not mad at me at all"
"we don't wanna tell you because we want to know your real reaction, your own inisiative"
"how can I do something like an inisiative? I tought that you guys will reject everything that I offer, why? I don't know that you guys really want my reaction, your attitude that seems like hating me, it scares me everytime I want to make some move to help you about this marbled paper stuff, now if you hate me, tell me that you hate me, so that I will (obviously) stay away from you if you want me to, but if you don't, just show something, tell me what to do.. you guys are confusing me with your attitude, you hate me, but you say you don't, if that's a fact, tell me then. I'm tired of this stuff! if you still hate me, started from the choir practice, alumunium foil, and now for this 'inisiative' I'll go away if you want to. I'll do what you want until this task over, and I will never ever speak to you, because I know if I do another stupid things and wrong attitude, you'll hate me all over again, boosts my negative sides and in your eyes (and maybe 'their' eyes) I'm not good at all. if that's what you want, I'll really.. really stay away after this task over, I don't wanna make another problem for you, or make you think about the damage I've made again and again"

the point is I'll stay away after this task over, so that we have no other connection, and you don't have to worry about any stupid problems that I've made. trust me, no other distractions for your mind. I'll do this task as soon as possible, I'll turn this marbled paper into something useful, not fast, but as soon as possible. not tomorrow, but might be the day after.
thanks.